Looking Back . . . Monday

Monday, March 1, started out with our "paperwork party" at the hotel. We met with Fami, finished some paperwork, and were given a folder with some more information on our children. In our folder for Isaiah were some medical reports as well as a schedule for what his days looked like at the transition home. What almost knocked me over was looking in the left-hand pocket of our folder and seeing two pictures that Isaiah had colored!

Duni on the left (with Dale & Kristi Hall) and Fami on the right.

We were joking around about how the women were all doing the paperwork, so I had to get a picture of Joe writing his signature ;o

"T" and Robel

Robel was cold. It was 70 degrees, but that was chilly for the Ethiopians. I offered to lend him my jacket, and he said that'd be fine, as long as it wasn't pink ;o) I had to get a picture!

Then we met Duni, who is the in-country director of AWAA. It was neat listening to her talk about alot of the aspects of adoption. A couple of things stuck out to me. In talking about the possibility of meeting birth parents, she told a story of one man who could not care for his child and so, had given that child up for adoption. In his village, the people did not understand what he had done and told him he had given his child to the devil. They told him it would've been better for his child to stay there and die than to be given to the devil. After meeting his child's adoptive parents and receiving a photo of them, he was able to show that picture to his village and spread the understanding of what was really going on. It was neat to hear this from their perspective.

She also mentioned a new program that they are implementing over there. I have learned so much about Ethiopia and their adoption process over the last year. One thing I have been impressed with over and over is their care, as a society, for their children. They do not take the giving up of or the adoption of children lightly. There is a long investigation into each child's background to be sure they are truly orphaned. If they are a "true orphan", meaning their parents are both dead, they look for a family member to care for the child. If a parent feels they cannot care for their child, they have to prove that to the government, and bring three witnesses to that fact. The child can then be declared adoptable and matched with an adoptive family. That parent and the witnesses must then, also, appear at the court date in order for that child to be adopted. The question has been brought up to us of why they wouldn't just help the parent to then care for the child themselves. What we learned is that every effort is made to do that. If the government (who gets no money from international adoption, by the way) feels the parent can take care of their child, they refuse the parents request. The program that Duni mentioned is that she is raising money to be able to try to help get mothers back on their feet to be able to care for their children. We bought some scarves and books while we were there to support that ministry. She wants to provide some financial help, but mostly counseling for these women, as there are usually more and deeper issues that just not having money.

Whew, anyway ;o) I could talk for hours on adoption, let alone our experience on this trip. Of course this was the day we met Isaiah for the first time, but I have already written about that in my post on that day. This is a short video of Joe getting Isaiah to smile for us for the first time - playing basketball ;o) Be patient, I had the lens closed when I first started filming - oops!


In the afternoon, the ladies went to a spa and had our nails done. Maria, who's 8, got her hair braided and looked adorable! Joe didn't think I should try it ;o) Joe got to spend his afternoon on the phone with the airlines. Later in the evening, we all went to a traditional Ethiopian dinner.

They come around and wash your hands before and after the meal, since you eat with your hands. Notice my hot pink nails ;o)
injera - you use the bread to pick up the food and eat. Theoretically, the plate should be completely clean when we were done, but I guess us Americans didn't have big appetites that night! Apparently the egg in the middle is a special treat. And "T", David and Robel said they eat it with raw meat. Ewww!! Ours was all cooked meat, but they tried to talk Joe into having it with them. The cooked food was more than enough for his stomach to handle, so he passed on that offer!

Below are some short video clips of the entertainment for the evening. Unfortunately, we didn't bring our video camera with us to dinner, so these are not as high quality b/c they were on my digital camera.

Just some more scenery!

Looking Back . . . Sunday

So, as I promised before, I want to work back through our week in ET to post some of the pictures we got along the way. It just took too long to upload them on the internet connection we had over there.

Before I do, an update to our last post: I probably could've included this in the last post, but things are going really well with Isaiah. Pretty much as soon as we got home, I stopped getting those looks from him. And more recently, he has been seeking me out to be held, or just to come and sit with me. But, he still follows Joe around the house whenever he's home saying "daDEE, daDEE!" :o) He has really warmed up well to the family.

I slept on an air mattress in the boys' room the first night, Joe did the second night, and he's been doing fine by himself ever since. Of course, he is a 2 1/2 -ish little boy, so there are always struggles. Like, he hates going to bed. My guess is that he has just learned to cry himself to sleep. He would cry every time we laid him down, and continue moaning even after the tears stopped until he was asleep. We've worked with him on this, and he's probably coming to realize that it's all okay, and last night he went to bed for the first time without so much as a complaint!

While he's not speaking English regularly, except for "Daddy", it is very clear that he understands a lot of the basics. If he's in the right mood, he will try to repeat us. I guess the same as a baby, I'm very anxious to be able to understand what he is saying and singing - he likes to sing VERY loudly ;o) We have been amazed, though, at how quickly he understood basic words and commands and transitioned into his new name. Probably within a day or two he was responding to "Isaiah". The speaking thing is just going to take more time.

The blister/sore under his nose seems to be improving. We got some of the test results back as far as parasites, so he is on meds now for that.

Okay, so onto the pics ;o) In case it's confusing, I'm putting the captions under the pictures.

Sunday afternoon/evening was the only bad weather we had while we were there. As you can see, it was kind-of foggy/misty. We went with the Halls and Rings to a museum for the oldest church in Addis Ababa . . . we were all exhausted, so we tried to look interested ;o) The sweet guide was trying so hard, but his English was really hard to understand!
There was very loud singing/chanting coming, I believe, from this building, and could also be heard from our guest house on most mornings . . . especially when you wake up at 3:30 a.m. and can't fall back to sleep!

Our room at the guest house. We shared a suite with another family. We had our own bedroom and bathroom, and shared a living room and kitchenette. Our bedroom had a door to the front balcony.

The view from our balcony of the kindergarten across the street. On Monday morning we had so much fun watching the parents drop their little kindergartners off, and then watch as the teachers gathered all the children on the front porch to sing songs . . . in English! It was so adorable!! My favorite was listening to them sing "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hand-es" . . . I could've listened to them sing all day!

The front view from our balcony, and the courtyard of the guest house.

As we left the museum, the Hull's had some treats to hand out, and a huge crowd gathered around Ethan. This happened all week whenever we handed out food to street children. Unfortunately for Ethan, this day the Halls were the only ones with snacks with them. If you know Kristi, you'll have to ask her about the boy that came running up to our van when she tried to give him some candy :o)

The gate to the church. One woman was moaning very loudly and throwing herself all around - you can see her there by the tree.

Old graves . . . and T's head ;o)

A huge eucalyptus tree, that was a gift from Australia, way back when . . . I don't know, I wasn't listening that well ;o) It was interesting, though, to learn that the king made sure that his house was lower than the church (the church is higher on the mountain) because they believed the king was not above God.

I think this was the actual first church of Addis Ababa . . . but, again, his English was hard to understand!

I LOVE these trees . . . this is one of my favorite scenery pictures from the week.

Don't know why this pic is purple - I think my camera is dying.

The dogs that hang around the guest house - had to take pictures for my animal lover, Gracie!

Right side of courtyard of guest house.

Left side of courtyard of guest house.
The front of the guest house. Our room was the first-floor balcony, and our bedroom window is to the left of the first balcony in this pic.

Man herding donkeys down the road in front of the guest house.

Some views from the roof of the guest house. They also have a room on the roof with a play room and a nanny. We didn't know this before we went, but it was a huge help, especially the first night with Isaiah when we had no luggage and very few toys to play with him!

"I don't want my children to be happy"

If you're reading our blog, please take a minute to click on this LINK. It's an awesome post by another adoptive mom, who was able to put into words, so sweetly, what God has done in our hearts, as well as many other adoptive parents. You won't regret the few minutes you spent reading it!!

Home Update

Okay, so I guess it's pretty bad when Joe lets me know that I haven't updated the blog! I told him I just hadn't been feeling too "wordy" lately. Which, I guess is true. I've never really traveled far enough to experience jet lag before, and it hit me pretty hard. Joe seems like he was back to himself a day or so ago. I'm still a little tired, but today is the first day that I haven't felt like my head is in a cloud.

So, to go back to my last post, yes, obviously we did get home safely. We visited the coffee factory last Friday in Ethiopia and bought about 35 lbs. to bring home. Our luggage smelled great! We then got back to the guest house to pack up. We had a short time of pictures and prayer with our group, and then we headed to the airport.

Now, to start our travel home story, you need to know that probably about Wednesday of last week, Isaiah had decided that he wasn't a big fan of me. He only wanted daddy, and nothing to do with me. I was prepared in my head for this - knowing children sometimes fight against their adoptive parents or can bond more with one initially than the other. But, knowing it in your head and experiencing it are sometimes two different things. Especially given the intense emotions of the week and our exhaustion, I had a really hard time with this. No matter how much I knew in my head, after everything that went on that week, my heart just wasn't ready for the "take-a-long-walk-off-a-short-pier" look I got from him pretty much every time I got near him. So, I was pretty emotional, and praying for God to give me clarity. I was happy that he was happy with Joe and that Joe was able to take care of him, but my heart hurt that I wanted to be his mommy . . . I was ready to be his mommy, but I couldn't be. We knew that to prevent a melt-down at least until we got home, it meant Joe was pretty much going to have to be Isaiah's main caretaker for the trip home. So, Joe was struggling with keeping Isaiah entertained, and the fact that he felt bad for me knowing how much my heart was hurting. And I was struggling with all of the thoughts/feelings I mentioned above, and with the fact that I couldn't help Joe with Isaiah.

Isaiah actually did pretty well on the way home, except for having to buckle up on take-off and landing . . . on four different flights ;o) He pretty much screamed at the top of his lungs for the entire time he had to be buckled in. But, thanks to Benadryl, he did sleep about 8 hours out of the longest 12-hour flight.

So, after all of our hassle from the time we got to the airport in Indianapolis on Friday, until Wednesday in Ethiopia when we finally got our luggage, you'd think we'd get a smooth ride home, right??? Well, by this point, we didn't expect anything close to "smooth" ;o) We had called and confirmed the flights (that were rebooked after the confusion on our flight there), and they assured us we were good. So, it started right off the bat at the airport in Addis Ababa when they couldn't seem to print out our boarding passes. When we finally got them and we tried to board the plane, they said they weren't right and we had to wait until the guy over at the ticket counter came and confirmed. Then, when we got to Dubai, we got stopped for a security check on Joe's passport . . . I always suspected something with him ;o) Then when we got to JFK, we had to get all of our baggage to go through customs . . . I should've known something was up when that all went smoothly, and we got through customs so quickly. Then we trucked our luggage over to the United terminal to check it in there and get our boarding passes for our remaining two flights . . . they took our luggage and then informed us that there was a problem ;o) Somehow, we had our flights booked from Dulles to Indy, but the one from JFK to Dulles was revoked because of a problem with our credit card??? Then she made a call and did some computer stuff, but was only able to fix Joe's, but not mine. They had our reservation and could check our luggage, but couldn't get my ticket cleared. She wanted us to head back to the other terminal to talk to Emirates about fixing it (really, again?!?) We asked her if she could please call them because we didn't want to go all the way over there only to miss the flight we were trying to get on. She looked really annoyed, but then she did. We discussed having to buy my ticket again, but after about 20 min. on hold, they did fix it and we were on our way.

It was so great to see our kids at the airport. We were so ready to be back home with everyone again!

The first several days at home have gone relatively smoothly. We've had some more emotional ups and downs, as is expected, but we're getting to know each other. We're getting to understand Isaiah more each day, and he's getting to understand how things work in our family. Isaiah had a cough and runny nose when we met him (and has for a while from his medical information), but that has cleared up since we've been home. He developed some type of a blister under his nose on Tuesday, so he had his first trip to the pediatrician yesterday . . . we also took advantage of the trip to get a lab order to test him for parasites . . . all I can say is eww! ;o) He's got an appointment with his doctor at the international adoption clinic at Riley Children's Hospital in a few weeks. They should be able to help us figure out an accurate age for him as well.

So, that's what's been going on around here ;o) We're looking forward to a visit with my parents the beginning of next week, and some time with Joe's parents later in the week. Hopefully over the next several days I'll get to post some "recap" posts with pictures from our week in Ethiopia. It really was an amazing week!

Thank you so much for your prayers all throughout this last few weeks, and this last year. We were never so aware of our need of God's grace as throughout our trip! We appreciate your continued prayers as we seek to be the parents that God would have us to be for all of our children!

We're home!

Well, today was a long and emotional day.  We started our day with a walk down the street to purchase a DVD and CD with some Ethiopian music.  Then our group traveled to visit one of the orphanages that our agency works with called Kids' Care.  It was a neat experience being able to spend some time visiting with the children there and sharing some treats and toys.   One of the nannies there then served us in a traditional coffee ceremony . . . I think there may be an official name for it, but I don't remember what it is! 

Then we went to lunch at a restaurant/art gallery.  After lunch we headed back to the guest house and re-divided the group to visit the two remaining orphanages, one of which was Kingdom Vision International, where Isaiah Tamrat spent some time before the transition home.   This was also the place that was arranged for us to meet his birth mother.  Joe stayed back at the guest house with Isaiah Tamrat, and I went on with the group to visit with Isaiah's birth mother.  It was an extremely hard and emotional meeting, but one that I am glad that I was able to do for Isaiah Tamrat's sake.  After that, we made one last stop to the transition home so I could deliver some care packages and donations that had been in our late luggage.

Just before dinner we decided to take a walk . . . and Isaiah Tamrat decided he didn't want to put his shoes on . . . and thus began the hour long (at least), kicking, screaming, crying tantrum.  We just sat with him and then he eventually fell asleep.  We have no idea what's going on in his head, or how hurt and confused his little heart may be right now.  We are praying for the wisdom and grace to be what he needs for us to be.

Tomorrow we head to a coffee factory, then packing and some pictures and prayer time with our group.  Then our long trek home.   We are so thankful to have come and love Ethiopia, but are very anxious to have our family all together.  We appreciate your prayers as we begin our journey home!

Isaiah Tamrat slept very well last night. Probably as a result of sleeping in a house with many other toddlers, he is a VERY sound sleeper. He konks out almost instantaneously and then it seems no amount of noise will wake him up. He will wake up with movement, though.

We started our day with a drive to the US Embassy for our appointment to receive Isaiah Tamrat’s visa. Shortly after we arrived we found out that because of a holiday yesterday, they had moved yesterday’s appointments to this morning, and we were bumped to this afternoon. So we ended up doing our shopping in the a.m. instead, and then spent the afternoon at the US Embassy. It was a long wait, but Isaiah slept on me for about 45 min. and then was tired, so he just kinda sat on our laps for most of the afternoon. The embassy approved us, so we should be getting Isaiah’s passport and visa on Friday. We don’t have many pictures from today because no cameras (or other electronics) are allowed in the embassy, and we did everything back-to-back.

Then, the best part of the day was going to the airport to PICK UP OUR LUGGAGE!!!!!!!!!!! At this point we only have two days left in Ethiopia, so it almost seemed pointless, if it wasn’t for the fact that at least 75% of the 200 lbs of luggage that we brought was gifts and donations for the transition home and orphanages. We got back just before dinner and then went through and organized all of the stuff for where it will go tomorrow. Isaiah was having a ball with the toys we had packed for him, and we're excited to be able to wear something "new" tomorrow! Only two items were missing (that I remember packing anyway) . . . so somewhere between Indiana and Ethiopia, some luggage handler is enjoying a big bag of candy while wearing latex gloves??? A little annoying, but at least everything else is here! Thanks for your prayers for us!

We started our day today with some shopping, which was fun and a little eye-opening.  (sorry if this is brief, but we're a little tired!) Then we went to the airport while the other families ate lunch to go pick up our luggage, which we were assured would be on the plane from Dubai to Addis Ababa this morning.  We waited for the plane to land, we waited for them to unload the luggage . . . we waited, and waited . . . no luggage.  So, we're told (again) that it will be on tomorrow's plane . . . we'll see. 

 

Then we rushed back from the airport so everyone could get to the transition home on time.  Today was the day to deliver care packages . . . two of which are in our suitcases . . . and bring donations for the transition home . . . which are also in our suitcases.  So I was able to take pictures of all of the kids, do footprints & handprints of some, and deliver one care package.  Then we changed Isaiah Tamrat into his own clothes (fortunately I had packed an outfit for him in my carry-on bag), visited the transition home where he lived, and then we all headed back to the guest house with our children.  We stopped at a grocery store on the way home to pick up some diapers since all the ones I packed are, well, you know, in my luggage.  I've been told the Ethiopian diapers are pretty poor quality, but they'll have to do until our luggage comes . . . Lord willing!

 

So, a day of emotional highs and lows, but hearing our son repeat his brothers' and sisters' names is priceless.  He wasn't so excited to see us today, but once we got in the van and within 5 minutes of being in our room, well, hearing him giggle was priceless!  I tried to post a video, but I couldn't get it to upload, so you'll have to trust me on this one!

Wow . . . not much more can be said about our day!! We started the day with a “paperwork party” where we filled out the rest of the needed paperwork for our embassy appointment on Wednesday, where we’ll apply for Isaiah Tamrat’s visa. Then we had lunch and orientation with the in-country director of our agency. It was a nice lunch, and very informative talking with Duni.
THEN, it was time to go to the transition home to meet our children. Pretty much all of the buildings here are surrounded by gated walls, usually with barbed wire on top. When we pulled through the gate, there was a nanny shoeing some kids off the front porch. Our mouths nearly dropped open – there was Isaiah Tamrat!!!! It was just a glimpse before the nanny hurried him back inside, but we knew it was him! Then we all got out of the vans and waited outside. The nannies bring the children out to their parents one at a time in alphabetical order. We had already arranged with each other who would take whose pictures so that everyone got pictures of their special moment.
It was amazing! He came walking down the steps and we got to pick him up and hold him and hug him and kiss him! And he gave us that same look that we’ve grown to love in all of the pictures taken by other adoptive parents, kinda like “who are you?” ;o) He is definitely very reserved at least for now – taking it all in! And he was giving EVERYONE that look, including the in-country staff that he knows! So many amazing moments from today!
A few of our highlights - he wouldn’t respond to us or anyone. Understandable in this situation, of course, but we still tried to find out what he wanted to do. It seemed that all he wanted to do was for us to hold him, but we weren’t sure if that was just because he was scared. So I decided to try to give him a granola bar . . . first change in expression . . . he scrunched up his little nose ;o) Apparently granola bars are NOT a favorite ;o)
Then we met with the dr. that works in the transition home. He had to get down off my lap for the dr. to show us something, but as soon as they were done, he inched back to my lap ;o) Then, he was very tired so we sat out on the front porch where he fell asleep on me ;o) No matter what we did, though, we couldn’t get a smile until . . . and all you who know Joe will LOVE this one . . . Joe took him to the little b-ball hoop and had him drop the ball he was holding through the hoop ;o) It was hilarious to watch him actually try not to smile, but we got a few out of him. And then a special moment, but not fun, was leaving again. Joe put him down and he didn’t want to walk away. Joe asked the nannies to tell him that he’d be back, so in Amharic they said “Daddy will be back.” Joe said his expression seemed to “drop” and the nannies said he didn’t want to leave us ;o)
Wow, tomorrow, Lord willing, our luggage is supposed to arrive, and then we go to pick up Isaiah to bring home with us – we can’t wait!!!
I’ll try to post some pics with this post, but I apologize in advance if it won’t go through.