Sunday, April 4, 2010

A New Easter

Easter is not really new, but I feel like I'm seeing Easter in a new way this year. I'm not who I was last year at this time. God has changed me, the way I think, the way I see the world, and I pray that I never lose the vision He's given me. I pray that, by His grace alone, I will remain open and yielded to Him so that He can continue to make that vision clearer - to see how He sees!

Earlier this week on facebook, I shared a video of another adoptive family and included the caption "Easter IS adoption" . . . and I've been continually brought back to that thought throughout the week. God gave the ultimate price - the life of His only and perfect Son - for His glory and our good. If you're like me and you've grown up with the "story", it's easy to gloss over that statement. God has taught me SOOO much this past year, but if nothing else, He has given me a deeper understanding of my adoption in Him. He paid this price and now I'm adopted into His family - not as a servant or even a good friend (both of which positions I am unworthy to occupy) - He chose to watch His Son die an excruciating death. He was beaten, abused, beyond recognition. And as if the physical wasn't enough, He was mocked. He chose to take our sin on Himself. And by doing that, in the time of His greatest misery and agony, He was also separated from His Heavenly Father. All of the hatred and disgust due my putrid sin . . . He CHOSE to bear that, from His Father . . . in my place. Because of my sin. Now, I am a child of God - in His family, permanently, with all of the unfathomable rights and privileges that that includes!

So, as I sat this morning with our church family, singing all of the beautiful songs about what God has done for us through His victory over death, I literally felt my breath taken away as God took me back a few weeks. This thought has struck me this week, but even more so this morning. Remember my posts earlier of how Isaiah was really not liking me for the last few days in Ethiopia and the entire plane ride home? That was so painful. My heart still hurts to think about it, it's still so "fresh". To be there, ready, willing, and able to be his mom . . . I knew what we had done these last several months to get there. I knew I had what he needed, if only he would let me. But anytime I got near him . . . well I can't even describe the look of disgust with the accompanying scream he gave me if I got anywhere near him. I knew it could happen, but it still broke my heart when it did. I wish I could describe to you the depth of the pain I was feeling in my heart . . . and I felt this week like God was saying to me, "Sarah, how do you think I feel everyday when the children I love, the children I DIED for, think they don't need me? They reject me, they mock me, they run screaming the other way. Or they say I'm just a figment of someone's imagination." My heart is broken. He has allowed me to feel His pain in a small, but very real way.

Okay, so I know you came here for pictures of the family, and not for a sermon ;o) We are doing well, as far as we know, Isaiah still seems to be doing well and finding his place in our family. We are so thankful for God's continued grace and mercy to us. He truly gives us the strength for each new day! So today was Easter, and, as far as we know, the first Easter that Isaiah has ever celebrated. Here's a short video of Isaiah with the legos he got for Easter, and using a few of his English words - jellybean, doggie, and bye-bye ;o)

Josh was SOOO excited about our Easter egg hunt, and that he found the egg hidden in the trickiest spot ;o)


Janet Whipple said...

I love your thoughts and I love your pictures! Great post :)

the johnson crew said...

thanks. i was blessed by your post. God gave me a special more meaningful Easter today too, not in the same way, yet beautiful and real.

God bless you guys.