Monday, June 22, 2009

Speedbumps & Roadblocks

Wow, as I'm typing this it seems hard to believe that June is already almost done! I say that with amazement that it's only actually been 3 months since we officially started the adoption process. And I say it, honestly, with a bit of sadness and disappointment today as we're in somewhat of an unexpected delay and standstill in the process right now. I know these seeming road blocks are "par for the course" and something that inevitably comes in every stage of life, not just adoption, but I don't think that makes it any less painful. I don't know whether it's because of his "maleness" or because he is older and more mature than I am (Joe assures me it's the second reason ;o) ) but he is able to take all of this a bit more objectively than I am! And I'm thankful for his steadiness, or I'd be a basket case!

In Proverbs 13:12 it says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Obviously I couldn't describe it any better than God does here - things like this just make your heart sick. I have full faith and confidence in my Heavenly Father's soverienty, grace, and love for us and our children . . . but that doesn't mean there's not momentary disappointment when our desires don't match up to His plans - even if it's just the "when" and not the "what" of His plans.

The great thing is the second part of the verse, "but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." We know further in Psalm 37:4 that if we "Delight yourself in the LORD,and he will give you the desires of your heart." Not meaning that God will give us whatever we desire - but by His grace, as we lay our desires and burdens at His feet, He mercifully molds and shapes our desires to be what He wants for us! What a tremendous hope and comfort that is!

So, as I mentioned in the last update or two, we're still waiting on our home study to be completed. It took longer to even get started than it seemed it should and has already taken longer than they estimated it would (even with us having our completed paperwork to them almost 2 months ago now), with it now looking like another few weeks until we'll have our completed home study in hand and be able to move ahead.

We're praying, obviously, that God will move things ahead quickly, but also that I won't be so anxious to move out of this hard spot that I try to manage things on my own - that's a nice way of saying that I pray I won't be manipulative ;o) I pray, as God tells us in the book of James, that He will give me the strength to "consider it all joy" in every circumstance and choose to endure - to remain under - this weight to learn what He has for me . . . I know there will likely be many more of these times ahead in the adoption process, and inevitably in life in general!

On a somewhat lighter note, I just finished, and Joe is finishing up, reading an EXCELLENT book called "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore - I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone, whether you are considering adoption or not. This is not a book with the purpose to convince anyone to adopt, nor a "how to" book on adoption. It is a Biblical look at God's plan of adoption.


Carol Bidewell said...

Just to let you know that I am praying for you. It is hard to wait - but, remember, that it takes 9 months to have a bio child - you've been at this for 3 months. The Lord will work it out in His time and in His way. He did for us.
Aunt Carol